Question:
A sister wrote to me with this question, asking me if I knew where
to go for an answer. It is concerning a friend of hers. Can you
please offer any advice for the sister in question? The one who asks
wonders if there would be any special consideration for the lady, as
she is an older woman, past childbearing years and married for a
very long time. The questioner also wonders what will happen to the
sister's Islam if she feels she has to choose between it and her
husband.

I have a sister in Islam she is a convert like I am only she is
much older, has been a convert for 4 years and has no muslim
community in her area. She is in the USA but her area is small. She
is 67 years old, has been married 45 years and loves her husband so
much. She found Islam online 4 years ago after being Christian all
her life.
She is not having much help trying to find answers to some very hard
questions. She has not been intimate with her husband since she
converted due to worry that she will be in sin. She loves him and
has talked to him about Islam but he is not wanting to convert. She
feels so bad and does not want to leave him after all these years as
he has been very good to her. She loves him so much and I feel sad
for her. He is not trying to get her to change her mind just misses
her love.

Ustadh Abdullah's response:

I wish that I could tell the sister that it's ok for her to be
intimate with her non-Muslim ex-husband. But I can't, since Islam
doesn't allow for a Muslim woman to marry or remain married to a non-
Muslim man. The Qu'ran says, ((O you who believe! When believing
women come to you as Emigrants, test them. Allah knows best their
faith. So if you know them to be believing women, then do not return
them to the unbelievers. They (women) are not permitted for them
(unbelieving men). And they (unbelieving men) are not permitted for
them (believing women))) [Mumtahanah:10].

This is the ruling of Islam. Only if he accepts Islam can she remain
married to him. But if she decides to remain under his custody and
becomes intimate with him without him accepting Islam, she bears
that sin. And she has to be the one who decides whether or not she
can bear Allah's punishment in the Afterlife.

May Allah make things easy for her.

Was Salaam

Abdullah